Wednesday, December 3, 2008

catching up

i haven't really had much time to update our blog. i know you guys all look forward to what the birds are up to hahah. well here is a quick recap
- mom came out to help me with ashton since i can't pick him up that much
- we all went to bear lake with ru, jason, brigs, barb, derek and my mom for thanksgiving (yes, i went even though i should have stayed home, but i am married to lorin so....)
- mom left and i cried because i miss her so much
- got a lot done on the sweater i am knitting ashton
- my sil, lynette, is here with me helping me out with ashton while lorin is at work. she is so sweet for volunteering to help me.
- i am much better but am still sore where the incisions are so carrying ashton hurts after a little while
- we picked out our first REAL christmas tree! we bought one last night and will hopefully start decorating it this weekend.
- we took ashton to the doc today because he was stuffy, coughing and sneezing a lot but he just said it was a cold. ashton has not slept during the day for more than an hour for like 2 weeks. but yesterday he slept for 4 hours and he's slept almost all day after feedings. my poor little baby. i feel helpless since we can't do anything for a cold.
- janelle told me about a breakfast with santa on saturday morning. if ashton is feeling better i will take him to get a pic with santa! how cute will that be?!?
- i am so excited for julia (aka jigs) to come tomorrow! i haven't seen her in such a long time and i miss her terribly!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

i'm back and alive..minus my gallbladder

so this week has been a rollercoaster. saturday night, after alisha's b-day dinner, i started to feel a little sick. my acid-reflux had come back to haunt me and it didn't go away. by tuesday it was really starting to hurt so i went to see my dr. and he did some blood tests and ordered an ultrasound for me on thursday. by wednesday morning i couldn't keep anything down even my anti-nausea and pain killer meds and was writhing in pain, so lorin called the dr. again and he told me to come in. he gave me a shot of morphine, an anti-nausea pill that dissolved in my mouth, some more labs and sent me to the hospital for an emergency ultrasound. well, his diagnosis was right. i had gall stones and my gall bladder would have to be removed. i was admitted to the hospital on wednesday and hoped my surgery would be on thursday. but my lipase levels were at 23,000 when they should normally be at 200-300. by thurs it went down to 22,000. this is when the dr bore me the bad news.: i would prob have to stay in the hospital 5-7 more days because i had pancreatitis and they could not operate with an inflammed pancreas. i cried because i didn't want to be in the hospital for that long and i was so hungry. the last time i ate was on monday because i started puking on tuesday.... so with pancreatitis, gall stones, hunger pains, plus the pains of my tender stomach and liver, i was a wreck on a lot of medications. everything seemed to be going wrong: my potassium levels were super low as well as magnesium, calcium, glucose, etc. i had morphine injected into my iv every 3 hours as well as anti-nausea medication. the iv fluids were the only things that were allowed to enter into my body. i could not have anything, not even an ice chip until saturday morning, when i was released from the hospital. it was such a horrible experience, especially because i was away from my baby for so long. luckily and miraculously, on friday morning my lipase levels went down to 500. my family came to visit me and then the drs. walked in to tell me they had to get me ready for surgery. i didn't even know i was going to have surgery that day! i frantically called lorin to tell him they were taking me in and he was able to be there for when i woke up. i had a nice chat with one of my surgeons wearing a utes cap and i told him that i hoped he wouldn't hold it against me if i was a cougars fan since i was in a vulnerable position. he laughed. all went well with the surgery except my throat really hurts from the tube being stuck down my throat, my vein is all swollen from the iv they took out because it was blocked, my other vein hurts from the new iv they put in and my incisions hurt pretty badly. but a few percocets and i'm feeling ok. my mom is afraid i'm going to be a percocet addict. oh yeah, luckily enough my mom had already planned a trip out here with my brother for a college tour. so thankfully my mom has been able to take care of ashton while lorin went to work and help us out while i am recovering. some of you may remember the pains i had during my pregnancy- well i'm pretty sure those pains were caused by the gallbladder starting to dysfunction.

oh well. c'est la vie.

Friday, November 14, 2008

mission accomplished

so i set a goal and i got it done...almost. i went on a baking frenzy and made muffins and bread to give out to our neighbors (thanks for the idea kate). it was also a good way of meeting our next door neighbors. they were super nice and even offered to babysit ashton if we ever needed it. i made pumpkin/choc. chip muffins and bread and i am not going to lie- it is awesome. i got the recipe from and i kept the bread for myself.....after i ate 3 muffins in 30 minutes. hahaah oh i love being able to tack on the calories because i'm nursing. i also made a couple of keychains- geez the first one i messed up on(even though it is supposed to be super easy). i am just not good at sewing. but i will prevail. i will master this machine. anyway i need to finish up this belt, too. hopefully alisha will like/appreciate them.

so, yay. i got things done! i feel good.

on another note- i just read a few articles on what is going on in la and slc. so what is the deal?? i mean, people who claim they are being discriminated against get to discriminate others without any reprecusions?? i don't understand. these people that claim to be tolerant and call us who believe different things intolerant and bigots are allowed to harass lds temples, people and businesses who suppored prop 8 and it's okay because they are the ones who are being discriminated against. they claim its freedom of what about us? we can't voice our opinions?? so if prop 8 had not passed would we be allowed to do the same thing or would they just scream intolerance and injustice because we targeted them. anyway, this just makes me so upset. those who believe in God and have morals are not allowed to anymore.

the end.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A Selfless Act

After Family Home Evening on Monday night, I realized that my life is at a plateau. I am not progressing in any aspect really. I hope this isn't a depressing post. I just finished putting Ashton to sleep and realized this is all I do. I feed him, change him, rock him to sleep and then I have a little bit of down time- that is when I'll try to eat something or clean a little and then he's up again. I feel like I haven't accomplished anything that I want to. Keeping the house tidy isn't difficult for me because it drives me crazy when things are visibly out of place. I have so many projects on my life and have yet to start on any of them. I used to read my scriptures outloud while I nurse Ashton but it was uncomfortable holding the book and holding Ashton. Anyway, my point is that it is probably my fault for not being more proactive and just letting Ashton take care of himself for a little bit. I am there when he starts to cry and play and talk to him as much as I can. Is it selfish of me to want some time to take care of me and mentally/spiritually nourish myself? Anyway, I had some downtime and I was blogsurfing and found this site: This lady was asked to make a quilt for another woman who selflessly donated her bonemarrow to a complete stranger. The quilter made it in two days (staying up to the wee hours of the night) and refused to accept anything for her sacrifice. First of all, that procedure (bone marrow) is really painful. Second of all, she went through all this pain for someone she didn't even know. And the quilter- she volunteered materials and stayed up hours to finish this quilt in time to give it to the donor. She didn't even know this woman! How unselfish can someone be to do that? That story was totally inspiring- pay it forward. There are really wonderful people in this world. I think I need to do something for someone. And I know being a mom is gratifying, and taking care of this beautiful baby boy brings me so much joy- but I just need to find someone else who needs my help. I have found that serving others fills my heart and helps bring me up spiritually- so this "selfless" act is my selfish desire to feel a little more complete. I am rambling and its almost 2 am. I needed to get this out because I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep with all this junk in my head. Please don't misunderstand me- I love being a mom and taking care of Ashton. I am just in a rut and it is my own fault. Tomorrow I WILL do something. I WILL create something and I WILL search for someone to help. Does anyone need anything? Please let me help. pleasepleaseplease :)

Monday, November 10, 2008

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Moulin Rouge

This may sound strange but Ashton absolutely loves the songs from Moulin Rouge. Actually one line in particular:

We can be heroes
Forever and ever

He gets this huge smile on his face whenever his Daddy sings that. We've tested this theory out. It has worked 95% of the time. And most of the time he'll coo back. I promise he loves it- maybe he's tone deaf, too :)

All Hallows' Eve

Nananananananana Nananananananana....BATMAN! (I was trying to recreate the 1950s theme song)

Without further ado we present to you the star of this post (and every other post on the blog)...Ash...I mean Batman!
Batman loved Halloween. He stayed up from 6:30-9:00, took a quick catnap, and hung out from 9:30-11:30. He did not want to miss all those funny looking people. Surprisingly enough, he loved his daddy's costume (even though the Joker is supposed to be scary). He loved finally being able to see his daddy's face hahah.
It was actually very funny. I came out of the bathroom, came right up to his face, bellowed, "Why so serious?" in my deepest, darkest voice...and he smiled and laughed! Then it was just cool to make the kid laugh. It is the contrast. He can't see 20 inches past his nose and everything is blurry, and so the bright whites, blacks, and reds tickled him pink.

Ashton was having a blast! He got to chill in Brenda's arms the whole time, so what could be better. A free ride and lots of funny-looking people are the perfect recipe for a happy baby.
At 6 weeks, he can only take so much fun for one night...and so many pictures!
Oh yeah, he had the sweetest cape ever.
Batman and Robin (Ashton and I) teamed up against The Joker and defeated him...muahaha. Ok, it was all Batman. I was just his support. (The binky shot is priceless! He is looking at Lorin wondering what the heck is going on. He doesn't care, because he is just enjoying every succulent inch of that binky!)
We had a blast on Halloween. We went to Provo to visit our old neighborhood friends and to show off our new addition to the family. We were in that ward for 2 years and had gotten very close to several families but haven't seen them since April (when I was 5 months pregnant). We had so much fun catching up with the Klevens and the Sorensens (who had a new addition of their own). We really missed their kids! It also felt so great when the kids' eyes lit up when they saw us and hugged us. Those kids really are so great. We didn't get any pictures with them though. However, we did get a picture of the Sorensen's home- they always do a great job decorating....
Now you see him...
Now you don't...
Yeah...he made a lot of little kids cry and run away.

We hope you guys had a great Halloween, too! We were told we looked a little old to be trick or treating- yeah right! We had a little kid with us- we're still allowed. Brother Rowe wouldn't buy it so he made The Joker perform a trick: singing "I'm a Little Teapot."

Monday, October 27, 2008

Sleep when the baby sleeps.....yeah right

Ok so Ashton is finally asleep again. It is 3:15. He has been up since 8:30 this morning. I fed him, changed him, got him to sleep in my arms and then I put him down and.....he wakes up after like 15 minutes! I couldn't even get a cat nap in. So, he just kinda grunts for a couple of hours (his grunts mean: mom, put my binky back!) After his grunts get more frequent and more demanding, I feel like maybe he's still hungry. We start the routine again....change diaper, nurse (takes forever because he keeps falling asleep but when I try to move him he wakes up and is ravenous), sleeping in my arms and BAM! He wakes up after 10 minutes. I put him down anyway, cover my head with a pillow so I can't hear him whining (which doesn't work because then I feel guilty) and try to get a quick nap in. My dear husband calls to see how I am doing (which really means he needs me to do something) and I tell him how his son refuses to sleep. He shares some advice with me (yeah right, like he knows): go for a drive or a long walk. Um, yeah did he not just hear me almost cry about how tired I am and want to sleep. Does he not realize how much of a process it is to take Ashton out (no because I always get his things ready). I have to get bottles ready in case he starts screaming his little head off and extra clothes because he sometimes leaks through his diapers, etc. It is not a "grab my bag and leave" process. And no I do not want to walk -AKA exert energy-when I have none.

The End

Oh wait, you may have asked yourself well he's asleep now why are you blogging about not being able to sleep??

I will tell you. Because I am not tired anymore. I got out of bed exhausted and am now wide awake while my little one is fast asleep. I want his job.

P.S. Lorin is a great dad. He can actually put Ashton to sleep in less than an hour. So, I probably should have listened to him but I was upset so in my mind he is wrong about everything and I won't listen to his advice because he is not a Mom!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Tagged by Miss

8 Favorite TV Shows: (in no particular order and please don't judge me based on my shows....guilty pleasures)
1.Grey's Anatomy
2.The Office
3.Ugly Betty
4.Everybody Loves Raymond
6.Samantha Who?

8 Fav Restaurants
1.Sette Bello
2.Solo Pizza (italia)
3.Macaroni Grill
5.Thai Ruby
6.India Palace

8 Things That Happened Yesterday
1.Received a package
2.Went on a walk to the park
3.Caught up on TV shows
4.Watched Indiana Jones
5.Changed diapers
6.Fed and put Ashton to sleep
8.Washed bottles

8 Things to Look Forward To
1.A good nights sleep
2.Christmas at home
3.Seeing and spending time with family
4.Baby's blessing
6.Thanksgiving dinner
7.Halloween candy

8 Things I love about fall
3.thanksgiving dinner
5.pumpkin pie

8 things on my wish list
1. new clothes mac boots
6.cute flats
7.skinny jeans
8.warm weather

8 people I tag
1. Lupita
8.Lorin (ha he won't do it)

Catchups (Party/Halloween/Park)

Where does time go? I have been meaning to post something but always have something else I need to do. I have so many projects and no time to do them. All a baby does is sleep so why don't I have the time? Well this baby likes to be awake at least 4 hours during the day. He'll just hang out making his funny noises and fussing. Maybe I don't have time because I just want to absorb everything he does. Yesterday, I put him in his bassinet in the morning. He stared up at his mobile for like 2 minutes. Then I wound the thing (why do mobiles always have cheesy songs- they should change that to something cool like something by Dave or Journey...) and Ashton totally loved it! I have proof. I recorded him smiling and making his happy noises. I will post that when I figure out how to do it.

What else have I missed? Ashton is finally learning to nurse with the help of a little gadget. I'll have to wean him off that eventually but for now I feel like he is learning and being patient. Yay!

Halloween Update: Ashton will be Batman for Halloween. We'll be going around Provo visiting our old neighborhood. He will be sporting his Batman costume and Batman pail. Lorin will be the Nurse Joker and I will be Robin. I have to handcraft it myself because for some reason Halloween for girls is a free pass to be scantily clad. Yeah- I can't do that so I am putting it together myself.
OK, now for some pics. On Sunday, October 20th, we celebrated Ashton's 1 Month Birthday. I should have taken pics of the cupcakes that took me hours to make and decorate but everyone ate them before I got a chance. I watched as Dallin ate the last Mummy cupcake but it was too late. Anyway, I'm sure the idea is silly for most but I was sooo excited to (and still am!) to have him with me!! I have this irrational fear of SIDS so I really am so grateful for him. I'm not going to lie, those late night feedings are rough for both Lorin and me and sometimes I would just love for him to sleep. But, being a mom is such a wonderful feeling and I would do absolutely anything for this little rat...yes, even spend hours making Mummy and Pumpkin decorated cupcakes for his one month birthday bash that he won't even remember...ha.

Here are some of our guests. We thank you all for coming out to humor me and to celebrate a non-birthday.
Here I am spending some quality time with the month-day boy on our sweet couch. I love it how he just stares at me- probably trying to figure out who the blurry blob is.

Mike, Bev, and Brooke drove from Bountiful (!) to come celebrate with us. Now those are dedicated friends! We heart you guys. I love this picture. Ashton is getting antsy because we took like a billion pictures trying to get it right. Here is Brooke trying to console him, isn't that cute??

Another take-minus Lorin because he was on the phone....sound like anyone familiar?

Dallin and Shannon joined us for some SNL: Best of Will Ferrell at the after-party. I think Ashton is semi-smiling.

Lorin is closing his eyes like always, Bev isn't looking and smothering her baby, Ashton is crying and I look like a goof and Mike is being goofy. Brooke (not the baby) is the only one that looks normal.

Brooke and Brooke.

Ashton and Erin having a nice little talk. Erin and I are friends from freshman year at BYU. He just got back from his mission in the Ukraine.

Kevin and Bree. I think Kevin is getting better at not being afraid of holding a baby- nice work!
Uncle Bryan and Aunt Janelle- so cute!
Jason and RuRu
Erin and Brooke and Ashton crying.
He is pooped from staying awake the whole party!
Here are some pics that I took at the park when we went for our walk. It was chilly out so I put on his little "chuyo" (peruvian hat) that I bought for him in Peru this summer.

I'm afraid Ashton does not like to be his mom's least not for a long period of time.

Monday, October 13, 2008


Is it bad that I have come to rely heavily on his binky to quiet him down and eventually put him to sleep??
see what happens when I take it out? That's why he holds on to it (pic above).
Currently, he is sucking on his binky and I am praying that he will fall asleep soon. But, he keeps spitting it out and then fussing so I have to put it back in and wait until his eyes start to close...only to be dissapointed again as he spits it out and wakes back up! Will this cycle ever end?
Anyone know if having him suck on his pacifier is bad? I've heard different things and I am worried that my child will suffer because of my lack of knowledge on how to soothe him!

Monday, October 6, 2008

Day 17

This may seem like a super long post but it is really mostly pictures... and me bragging about Ashton.

My mom left this morning- she abandoned me in order to take care of her other children. She chose to go already missing her company and help. She was with me during everything! She walked around with me during my contractions, stayed up at night to make sure I didn't die from the pain and kept walking, kept me calm during labor, brought me breakfast in bed every morning, took care of Ashton in the mornings so I could sleep some more, took care of my home and even finished up all my nursery projects (she stayed up at night to sew the crib's bedding, my pillow cases and curtains!!) It really is amazing how unproductive a new mom's day is. All I did today was sleep, sterilize bottles, feed and change Ashton. My mom took such great care of us and did it effortlessly. I was able to rest and spend time with Ashton while my mom took care of the home. I've only been home alone one day and I feel like nothing got done (dishes in sink, eating leftovers, piling laundry baskets, etc.) Here is my mommy with her first grandchild.
These are the proud grandparents. My dad also came for the birth of his first grandchild. He was so good in taking care of me- holding me up when I couldn't take the pains of the contractions anymore. He also fixed the little quirks we had in our home and touched up the outside paint. He is a great handyman and made sure I was getting my rest and nutrition.
Ok, now I feel a need to be productive and people have been asking for updates on the little one.
Every new parent wants to think that their baby is special and smarter than the rest of the newborn babies. I will take part in that- Ashton is developing so fast right before my eyes. I'm sure all babies are like that,blah blah blah but I'm his mom and I'm going to think that he is better than the rest when I'm sure he is just average. He stays pretty alert and calm for 1-2 hours, sometimes 3 like today. He is so curious about his surroundings that he will just look around the room and look at us trying to take all this new stuff in. He has a little friend, this purple monkey toy that came with his little chair, that he just loves to look at. We have him wear little mittens because I am not quite ready, I'm scared really, to cut his fingernails. He has managed to take them off (using his mouth) and scratch himself. He is always in a boxing position (his mittens look like boxing gloves and he keeps his hand right at his chin) and that makes it really hard to feed him but he will support his bottle from time to time. He makes the funniest faces in his sleep and I wish I could capture them all but he's too fast for me. This pic is his blue steel:


pensivecurious really annoyedcalmpeaceful
starving! this kid already chugs down 5 oz of milk. he eats like we haven't fed him in days. satisfied- the milk knocked him outmid-sneeze

He laughs and cries in his sleep which breaks my heart. We're told that he makes the sad faces and cries because his tummy probably hurts. I thought he was having bad dreams and just wanted to wake him up. I couldn't bear to see my little baby be so sad! Yes, the crazy protective instincts are here and don't expect them to go away just because I am married to Lorin. I will try to protect him from his father's crazy ways as long as I can. One more "my baby is best". When we went for his first doctor's check up, the nurse was impressed that little Ashton was so brave during the PKU test (that's when they prick baby's heel and squeeze his little heel 6+ times to draw blood out. She said most babies scream their little heads off, but no, not Ashton. He quietly whimpered (which still broke my heart and left me wanting to hurt the nurse that was hurting him) and took it like a man (just like his dad). He didn't even cry when he was circumcised- he only cried when they were undressing him because he was cold (he's taking that after his mama- I hate hate hate the cold). Ok, I am done bragging (that was for you, Steve R.) Sorry if I annoyed anyone or offended others with newborn babies that think their babies are just as good :)

So, we have also had lots of visitors stop by to take a look at our little babe.

Here he is with Uncle Dallin, Aunt Alisha and Aunt Janelle when they came to visit us in the hospital.

Uncle Eric and Kathy and Mark also stopped by. I love the look Kathy is giving Eric as he is holding a wittle baby.
Here is Auntie Brooke/expert nurse/my old roomie of forever! I heart her. She is now working in the NICU in Provo.

Aunt Janelle and Uncle Bryan.
Our new friends, Bree and Kevin. Aunt Alisha

We had Bev (heart her, too) and her little girl, Brooke. Brooke was very curious and wanted to get closer to the little guy on the bed.

My friend, Kim, from high school had a layover in SLC so we decided to meet up in the airport so she could see little Ashton. She is so great and Ashton loved being held by his new friend.

My uncle, aunt and cousin who live in Layton stopped by yesterday after conference (which was awesome) for dinner. I failed to get a group shot but this one is a closeup (we have a lot of those)of Ashton with Aunt Alida.

We also had Janelle, Bryan, Alisha, Shannon and Nat stop by last night. Here he is with Aunt Alisha, who has graciously volunteered to help me out a little by watching him while Mom gets some sleep. What a sweet aunt!

Our friends Steve and his fiancee, Tricia, stopped by, too! They were in town for conference but are heading back to Las Vegas tonight. It was so good to see Steve and meet Tricia for the first time.