i'm back and alive..minus my gallbladder

so this week has been a rollercoaster. saturday night, after alisha's b-day dinner, i started to feel a little sick. my acid-reflux had come back to haunt me and it didn't go away. by tuesday it was really starting to hurt so i went to see my dr. and he did some blood tests and ordered an ultrasound for me on thursday. by wednesday morning i couldn't keep anything down even my anti-nausea and pain killer meds and was writhing in pain, so lorin called the dr. again and he told me to come in. he gave me a shot of morphine, an anti-nausea pill that dissolved in my mouth, some more labs and sent me to the hospital for an emergency ultrasound. well, his diagnosis was right. i had gall stones and my gall bladder would have to be removed. i was admitted to the hospital on wednesday and hoped my surgery would be on thursday. but my lipase levels were at 23,000 when they should normally be at 200-300. by thurs it went down to 22,000. this is when the dr bore me the bad news.: i would prob have to stay in the hospital 5-7 more days because i had pancreatitis and they could not operate with an inflammed pancreas. i cried because i didn't want to be in the hospital for that long and i was so hungry. the last time i ate was on monday because i started puking on tuesday.... so with pancreatitis, gall stones, hunger pains, plus the pains of my tender stomach and liver, i was a wreck on a lot of medications. everything seemed to be going wrong: my potassium levels were super low as well as magnesium, calcium, glucose, etc. i had morphine injected into my iv every 3 hours as well as anti-nausea medication. the iv fluids were the only things that were allowed to enter into my body. i could not have anything, not even an ice chip until saturday morning, when i was released from the hospital. it was such a horrible experience, especially because i was away from my baby for so long. luckily and miraculously, on friday morning my lipase levels went down to 500. my family came to visit me and then the drs. walked in to tell me they had to get me ready for surgery. i didn't even know i was going to have surgery that day! i frantically called lorin to tell him they were taking me in and he was able to be there for when i woke up. i had a nice chat with one of my surgeons wearing a utes cap and i told him that i hoped he wouldn't hold it against me if i was a cougars fan since i was in a vulnerable position. he laughed. all went well with the surgery except my throat really hurts from the tube being stuck down my throat, my vein is all swollen from the iv they took out because it was blocked, my other vein hurts from the new iv they put in and my incisions hurt pretty badly. but a few percocets and i'm feeling ok. my mom is afraid i'm going to be a percocet addict. oh yeah, luckily enough my mom had already planned a trip out here with my brother for a college tour. so thankfully my mom has been able to take care of ashton while lorin went to work and help us out while i am recovering. some of you may remember the pains i had during my pregnancy- well i'm pretty sure those pains were caused by the gallbladder starting to dysfunction.

oh well. c'est la vie.

mission accomplished

so i set a goal and i got it done...almost. i went on a baking frenzy and made muffins and bread to give out to our neighbors (thanks for the idea kate). it was also a good way of meeting our next door neighbors. they were super nice and even offered to babysit ashton if we ever needed it. i made pumpkin/choc. chip muffins and bread and i am not going to lie- it is awesome. i got the recipe from www.graceviolet.com. and i kept the bread for myself.....after i ate 3 muffins in 30 minutes. hahaah oh i love being able to tack on the calories because i'm nursing. i also made a couple of keychains- geez the first one i messed up on(even though it is supposed to be super easy). i am just not good at sewing. but i will prevail. i will master this machine. anyway i need to finish up this belt, too. hopefully alisha will like/appreciate them.

so, yay. i got things done! i feel good.

on another note- i just read a few articles on what is going on in la and slc. so what is the deal?? i mean, people who claim they are being discriminated against get to discriminate others without any reprecusions?? i don't understand. these people that claim to be tolerant and call us who believe different things intolerant and bigots are allowed to harass lds temples, people and businesses who suppored prop 8 and it's okay because they are the ones who are being discriminated against. they claim its freedom of speech....um what about us? we can't voice our opinions?? so if prop 8 had not passed would we be allowed to do the same thing or would they just scream intolerance and injustice because we targeted them. anyway, this just makes me so upset. those who believe in God and have morals are not allowed to anymore.

the end.

A Selfless Act

After Family Home Evening on Monday night, I realized that my life is at a plateau. I am not progressing in any aspect really. I hope this isn't a depressing post. I just finished putting Ashton to sleep and realized this is all I do. I feed him, change him, rock him to sleep and then I have a little bit of down time- that is when I'll try to eat something or clean a little and then he's up again. I feel like I haven't accomplished anything that I want to. Keeping the house tidy isn't difficult for me because it drives me crazy when things are visibly out of place. I have so many projects on my life and have yet to start on any of them. I used to read my scriptures outloud while I nurse Ashton but it was uncomfortable holding the book and holding Ashton. Anyway, my point is that it is probably my fault for not being more proactive and just letting Ashton take care of himself for a little bit. I am there when he starts to cry and play and talk to him as much as I can. Is it selfish of me to want some time to take care of me and mentally/spiritually nourish myself? Anyway, I had some downtime and I was blogsurfing and found this site:
http://sewingwithabbie.blogspot.com/. This lady was asked to make a quilt for another woman who selflessly donated her bonemarrow to a complete stranger. The quilter made it in two days (staying up to the wee hours of the night) and refused to accept anything for her sacrifice. First of all, that procedure (bone marrow) is really painful. Second of all, she went through all this pain for someone she didn't even know. And the quilter- she volunteered materials and stayed up hours to finish this quilt in time to give it to the donor. She didn't even know this woman! How unselfish can someone be to do that? That story was totally inspiring- pay it forward. There are really wonderful people in this world. I think I need to do something for someone. And I know being a mom is gratifying, and taking care of this beautiful baby boy brings me so much joy- but I just need to find someone else who needs my help. I have found that serving others fills my heart and helps bring me up spiritually- so this "selfless" act is my selfish desire to feel a little more complete. I am rambling and its almost 2 am. I needed to get this out because I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep with all this junk in my head. Please don't misunderstand me- I love being a mom and taking care of Ashton. I am just in a rut and it is my own fault. Tomorrow I WILL do something. I WILL create something and I WILL search for someone to help. Does anyone need anything? Please let me help. pleasepleaseplease :)

Too Fast

2 days old

5.5 weeks old

7 weeks

Moulin Rouge

This may sound strange but Ashton absolutely loves the songs from Moulin Rouge. Actually one line in particular:

We can be heroes
Forever and ever

He gets this huge smile on his face whenever his Daddy sings that. We've tested this theory out. It has worked 95% of the time. And most of the time he'll coo back. I promise he loves it- maybe he's tone deaf, too :)

All Hallows' Eve

Nananananananana Nananananananana....BATMAN! (I was trying to recreate the 1950s theme song)

Without further ado we present to you the star of this post (and every other post on the blog)...Ash...I mean Batman!

Batman loved Halloween. He stayed up from 6:30-9:00, took a quick catnap, and hung out from 9:30-11:30. He did not want to miss all those funny looking people. Surprisingly enough, he loved his daddy's costume (even though the Joker is supposed to be scary). He loved finally being able to see his daddy's face hahah.

It was actually very funny. I came out of the bathroom, came right up to his face, bellowed, "Why so serious?" in my deepest, darkest voice...and he smiled and laughed! Then it was just cool to make the kid laugh. It is the contrast. He can't see 20 inches past his nose and everything is blurry, and so the bright whites, blacks, and reds tickled him pink.

Ashton was having a blast! He got to chill in Brenda's arms the whole time, so what could be better. A free ride and lots of funny-looking people are the perfect recipe for a happy baby.

At 6 weeks, he can only take so much fun for one night...and so many pictures!

Oh yeah, he had the sweetest cape ever.

Batman and Robin (Ashton and I) teamed up against The Joker and defeated him...muahaha. Ok, it was all Batman. I was just his support. (The binky shot is priceless! He is looking at Lorin wondering what the heck is going on. He doesn't care, because he is just enjoying every succulent inch of that binky!)

We had a blast on Halloween. We went to Provo to visit our old neighborhood friends and to show off our new addition to the family. We were in that ward for 2 years and had gotten very close to several families but haven't seen them since April (when I was 5 months pregnant). We had so much fun catching up with the Klevens and the Sorensens (who had a new addition of their own). We really missed their kids! It also felt so great when the kids' eyes lit up when they saw us and hugged us. Those kids really are so great. We didn't get any pictures with them though. However, we did get a picture of the Sorensen's home- they always do a great job decorating....

Now you see him...

Now you don't...

Yeah...he made a lot of little kids cry and run away.

We hope you guys had a great Halloween, too! We were told we looked a little old to be trick or treating- yeah right! We had a little kid with us- we're still allowed. Brother Rowe wouldn't buy it so he made The Joker perform a trick: singing "I'm a Little Teapot."

Priceless.